Laidback Gourmet: Lotte’s Koala March Cookies

Ohaiyogozaimasu, welcome back to the Laidback Gourmet as we continue through the month of Japanuary. Throughout the month I’ve been trying random things that I bought at the local Asian specialty mart. So far I have not chosen wisely. However with today’s fair I think I’m safe. I mean, how bad could Koala Cookies be?

Unless of course they’re made with actual Koalas… oh god. Ok, whew, I think I’m safe. No koalas are harmed in the making of these cookies. They’re chock full of White Tigers, but that’s ok, they’re delicious. Let’s open this box up and see what we got.

Alright, now this is interesting. What is the point of this tab here? I have no idea what it says and I cannot figure out what it’s there for. It cant be there to keep the cookies in so you can pop them out one at a time because the cookies aren’t loose inside the box, they’re in a hermetically sealed bag. See?

So… what is the tab for? I feel like I’m missing out on whatever is written here. I’m just going to assume that it says “caution: hot plate” and move on. Let’s open these up and see what these koalas cookies look like

Wow. These are aggressively cute. These are probably the cutest koalas out of japan since the Noozles. And since about 99% of my audience probably just said, “What the hell is he talking about?”, here you go, The Noozles:

WARNING: There isn’t enough pot in the world to prepare you for that video. But seriously, these are crazy cute. Just look at the face on this cookie:

That’s crazy cute. Doing the double V hand gesture which either means, “Radical” or “Up Yours”. Either way since its coming from a cartoon koala it’s still adorable. In fact, there’s only one way to sum up how cute these pictures are:

HNNNNNG!!! Which considering how much sugar and trans fat are probably in these things is what you’ll be doing after you eat them as well. Let’s take a bite and see if they’re as pleasing to the tongue as they are to the eyes, and dear lord please no one take that quote out of context!

Wow! They’re filled with chocolate frosting. And for the sake of this review I’m going to pretend I didn’t know this before I bit into them! These are actually really tasty, but then again, how could they not be? It’s literally a cookie stuffed with chocolate frosting. Healthy? No. Delicious? Yes. In fact, I dare say that if all koalas were filled with rich chocolatey frosting they would be going extinct even faster than they currently are!

…was that too dark a joke? I think I should end this one here just in case. As for my score on these? Well unlike the ramune these are both fun to eat AND tasty. So my score:

Well that concludes this edition of the Laidback Gourmet. I hope you enjoyed this one as much as I’m enjoying eating these cute harmless creatures. If you’d like to send me feedback or if you have suggestions for a future Laidback Gourmet (Of which I’d be happy to give you credit for) email me at Until next time this is Ed DiFolco, your Laidback Gourmet and until next time I’m going to go talk to those guys over at InGen. I now want a chocolate filled Koala bear as a pet.

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