Welcome back to the Laidback Gourmet and while last week was MEGA, this week will be SUPER! You know when I was a young little President of Edmerica I was never that into comic books. However there was one superhero that I always loved. That’s right. Batman.
…however for the sake of this review let’s say it was Spiderman because otherwise the whole analogous opening doesn’t work nearly as well since this product has our favorite wall crawler slapped on it. So anyway, this week, I take look at Spiderman’s balls.
Spider balls, Spiderballs, Friendly Neighborhood Spiderballs
Yep, apparently this week I’ll be suckling from Spiderman’s balls. This is what my life has become. Alright, let’s do this. This beverage is brought to you by the company Aquaball, which is also a medical condition that you’ll want to avoid. They decided that kids need to drink more water but hey, water sucks, so how can we get them to drink it? Flavor that stuff up, pour it in a weird shape bottle and slap Spiderman on it. What kind of idiot would fall for such an obvious ploy?
Always take the Red potion, the blue one is a waste of money.
Obviously me. Well played Aquaball. Well played. Apparently there are various flavors as well, but the one I picked up, because, well, that’s the only flavor they had, was Spiderman’s Fruit Punch. I suspect Spiderman’s fruit punch would taste of teenage angst, debt, and spider webbing. Which still sounds like a better brew than the newest Mountain Dew flavor. Well I simply can not drink from Spiderman’s man teats so I am going to put this in a more manly glass.
Admit it… that’s a pretty shot. (PUN ALERT!)
There we go. That feels better. Also, it gives us a nice close up look at what the drink looks like. The bottle advertised that it was free from artificial colors and you gotta give them that. It looks just like a cool clear glass of scotch, uh, I mean water. However, all you have to do is take a whiff of it to tell that there’s some funky flavoring going on with this water. It has an unmistakeable, but undefinable fruity smell to it. Well, here goes:
CHEERS!!! Where everybody knows your Dhlee.
Well, it’s better than I thought the clear discharge of Spiderman’s balls would taste, but that’s not really saying much is it? It tastes like fruit punch… I guess. Really weak watered down fruit punch. The problem is it suffers from the same problem a lot of drinks like this do. It’s too strongly flavored to be a water with “just a hint of flavor” but its too weak to be considered a flavored drink. The end result is it tastes like you’re drinking fruit punch at that cheap friend’s house who only uses one scoop of Kool-Aid instead of two. It’s not terrible but it is terribly bland. My score:
Well there you go. An entire review based around the fact that this bottle is shaped like a ball and it’s got Spiderman on it. If this drink came in any other shape or didn’t have a super hero on it so I couldn’t make the types of jokes that make 4th graders giggle you probably wouldn’t have seen it here, so props to Aquaball for knowing it’s market. Thank you as always for reading, please send all your feed back to SuperfriendEd@Gmail.com. Until next time this is Ed DiFolco your Laidback Gourmet thinking he either must have testicular fortitude to do this review, or he’s just nuts.