Konichiwa, and welcome back to the Laidback Gourmet. You’ve come at a great time since we’re entering our second week of the month of Japanuary. A month in which I eat completely random things I found at my local Asian food mart without any idea what the heck I’m doing. This week I’m going to try something I always see when I’m at this mart but I’ve never actually tried before, Hsia Wei Hsien Shrimp Crackers.
I’ve always seen shrimp crackers while at the Asian specialty mart but I’ve never picked them up before. There’s a reason why I never picked them up before. Well, remember last week I had to drink Lychee Nut soda because that was the only Ramune bottle they had? Well, that’s not the case when it comes to Shrimp Crackers. I saw about a dozen different varieties of brands and flavors. How am I suppose to know which one I should try first? Well, it turns out that it was easier than I thought. As I was looking through the bags I came across this image:
Just look at that thing. Just look at it. As near as I can tell it’s some strange, bald, creepy, legless man-thing who is floating above a screaming child tormenting the little one with the allure of shrimp crackers that it just will never be allowed to eat. With a mascot THAT wacky it’s clear that this is the bag for me. I didn’t hesitate one moment, I didn’t pick up any other bags. I grabbed this one, put it in my cart and headed towards the check out.
I honestly don’t have any preconsieved notion for these things. I’m hoping they taste like those crackers you get stuffed into the bag when you order shrimp toast, but that’s probably hoping for too much. I’m not even sure what kind of crackers they’re gonna be? Flat? Round? Shrimp shaped? Now THAT would be cool, but again I think I’m hoping for too much. Might as well open the bag and see what they look like.
Oh… wow. Before I even get into what shape they are the very minute I opened the bag I was hit with the smell of these things. How do I describe it? Actually, that’s pretty easy. You ever own a goldfish? Have you ever had to feed your goldfish those flakes? Did you ever SMELL those flakes? You know, these:
Yep. That’s exactly what these things smell like. Anyway, back to my point about what shape these are:
They look just like those Andy Capp fries. Do they still make those anymore? I used to get them back in school but I don’t think I’ve seen a bag of those in forever. I must do research on that later. Well, I guess I can’t put this off any longer, I gotta try these things. Wish me luck…
I can sum these up in one word: BLEGHH! I don’t even think that’s a real word, but it convays the point perfectly. Remember when I said these things smelled like fish food? Yea, they taste exactly how they smell, so I’d imagine that this is how those fish flakes actually taste if your crazy enough to pop a mouthful of them. I was hoping these things would taste like instant shrimp ramen or something along those lines. Instead they taste like what the inside of a badly run fish market smells like. The rest of this bag is being thrown the birds, I just hope they don’t hate me for it. I give these a 2/10. Do not want.
Well that concludes this edition of the Laidback Gourmet. I hope you enjoyed reading it way more than I enjoyed eating this crap. Now, to be fair, like I said there was a lot of variety of shrimp crackers at the store. Maybe this is the “Palmers chocolate” variety of shrimp crackers. So if want to suggest I try a different brand, or if you just want to give me any kind of feedback email me at SuperfriendEd@Gmail.com. Until next time this is Ed DiFolco, your Laidback Gourmet hoping that the last two reviews aren’t some terrible premonition for the rest of this month.