I know it’s been a while since my last post. But that’s because I’ve been working on a special countdown for the site: The 100 Greatest Movie Bad-Asses.
Now, like most countdowns, this list is subjective and open for debate. But when we get to number one, there just plain isn’t any question on who that will be. (But we’ll get to him later.) My goal with this countdown is to discuss some of my favorite bad asses in cinema, present some movies some of you may not be familiar with, and of course have fun.
So with that out of the way, here are the criteria:
1. Character must be from a feature-length film.
2. Film must be from either a narrative non-documentary film (non-fictional characters are fine, but no documentaries.)
3. Characters may be man, woman, alien or robot. As long as the character is able to make its own decisions.
4. Characters can be either the hero or the villain… it doesn’t matter. What matters is the character’s ability to kick ass. If it’s a hero, the character has a dark side and is dangerously close to crossing the line. If it’s a villain, the character must be a significant threat, be able to hold their own in a fight, and not be either cowardly or crazy. For both heroes and villains though, one essential ingredient: They have to be cool enough that you kinda want to be them (or at least not want to fuck with them)
Bad Ass Hero Examples: Batman, Blade, Wolverine. Non-Bad Ass Heroes: Superman, Spider-Man
Bad Ass Villain Examples: Darth Maul, Darth Vader, Mr. Blonde. Non-Bad Ass Villains: Lex Luthor, Joker, Hannibal Lecter
OK, with that out of the way, here’s our list:
#100 – The Saints
MOVIE: The Boondock Saints (1999)
ACTORS: Sean Patrick Flannery, Norman Reedus, Billy Connolly
BAD ASS CREDENTIALS: Two brothers from Boston (and their dad) who decide to become vigilantes against organized crime, all while saying some bad ass prayers (which somehow makes religion look awesome.)
MOST BAD ASS MOMENT: Taking out a mob boss in the middle of his own trial.
BAD ASS LINE: “When I raise my flashing sword, and my hand takes hold on judgment, I will take vengeance upon mine enemies, and I will repay those who hate me. Oh, Lord, raise me to Thy right hand and count me among Thy saints.”
#99 – Dalton
MOVIE: Road House (1989)
ACTOR: Patrick Swayze
BAD ASS CREDENTIALS: Dalton is a “cooler,” it’s his job to direct and lead a bar’s bouncers. He shows up and takes a job at a Road House, and after he pisses off the local rich bully, things get a little rough.
MOST BAD ASS MOMENT: After being injured in a fight, Dalton goes to a hospital to get stitched up. He refuses pain medication saying “Pain don’t hurt.”
BAD ASS LINE: “If somebody gets in your face and calls you a cocksucker, I want you to be nice. Ask him to walk. Be nice. If he won’t walk, walk him. But be nice. If you can’t walk him, one of the others will help you, and you’ll both be nice. I want you to remember that it’s a job. It’s nothing personal… I want you to be nice until it’s time to not be nice. ”
#98 – Creasy
MOVIE: Man On Fire (2004)
ACTOR: Denzel Washington
BAD ASS CREDENTIALS: Creasy is an ex-CIA agent who has given up on life. He gets hired as a bodyguard to protect the daughter of an American family living in Mexico. Eventually Creasy comes to bond with and love the little girl like his own daughter, so when she’s kidnapped he goes on an unstoppable revenge killing spree.
MOST BAD ASS MOMENT: While interrogating a scumbag, he manages to stick a grenade (yes, a grenade) up the guy’s ass. After he gets the information he wants, he walks away and let’s the guy blow up.
BAD ASS LINE: “Forgiveness is between them and God. It’s my job to arrange the meeting.”
#97 – Riggs
MOVIE: The Lethal Weapon series (1987-1998)
ACTOR: Mel Gibson
BAD ASS CREDENTIALS: Riggs is the best “cop on the edge” in movie history. He’s a man that will break all the rules, as long as the ends justify the means.
MOST BAD ASS MOMENT: The entire fight sequence at the end of the first Lethal Weapon with Mr. Joshua.
BAD ASS LINE: “”You do this my way. You shoot, you shoot to kill, get as many of them as you can. All you got to do is just not miss. ”
#96 – Frank Martin
MOVIE: The Transporter series (2002-2008)
ACTOR: Jason Statham
BAD ASS CREDENTIALS: A “wheel man” for hire with a bad ass car. Frank Martin can make his car do anything, get you anywhere and outrun anybody. On top of all that, he can kick your ass inside of 5 seconds.
MOST BAD ASS MOMENT: When 4 thugs try to car jack him, he calmly steps out of the car, takes off his jacket (he did just buy it, after all) and proceeds to kick the shit of all of them in less than 20 seconds.
BAD ASS LINE: “Have a good life. What’s left of it.”
#95 – Porter
MOVIE: Payback (1999)
ACTOR: Mel Gibson
BAD ASS CREDENTIALS: Betrayed and left for dead by his partner and his ex-wife, Porter heals up and quickly comes back for revenge and his cut of $70,000 he’s owed for his part in a heist.
MOST BAD ASS MOMENT: After being tortured by a mob boss, Porter lures him to an abandoned building that is set to explode, tricking him into blowing himself up, then running off with the money he was owed.
BAD ASS LINE: “Not many people know what their life’s worth is. I do. Seventy grand. That’s what they took from me. And that’s what I was going to get back. ”
#94 – Darth Maul
MOVIE: Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace (1999)
ACTOR: Darth Maul
BAD ASS CREDENTIALS: A dark Sith with a double-bladed light sabre? Bad ass.
MOST BAD ASS MOMENT: Fights off not one, but TWO trained Jedi Knights at the same time, then kills Obi-Wan’s master.
BAD ASS LINE: “At last we will reveal ourselves to the Jedi. At last we will have revenge.”
#93 – Optimus Prime
MOVIE: The Transformers: The Movie (1986)
ACTOR: Peter Cullen
BAD ASS CREDENTIALS: He’s a giant robot that transforms into a giant truck. That’s all you need to know.
MOST BAD ASS MOMENT: Not many in this movie, to be honest. The only reason he’s on here is because he’s Optimus fucking Prime. And you can’t have a Bad Asses Countdown without Optimus Prime, and I didn’t want to include the terrible Michael Bay movies in the countdown.
BAD ASS LINE: “One shall stand, one shall fall.”
#92 – Johnny Cage
MOVIE: Mortal Kombat (1994)
ACTOR: Linden Ashby
BAD ASS CREDENTIALS: The cocky movie star we all remember from the video game, on the big screen. He talks shit, but he can back it up.
MOST BAD ASS MOMENT: Challenges and defeats the four-armed monster known as Goro.
BAD ASS LINE: (After kicking Goro off a cliff) “This is where you fall down.”
#91 – John Matrix
MOVIE: Commando (1985)
ACTOR: Arnold Schwarzenegger
BAD ASS CREDENTIALS: Former Special Forces operative whose daughter is kidnapped. Now he’s going to blow up the world to get her back.
MOST BAD ASS MOMENT: After a brutal fight with main bad guy, Bennett, he launches a steel pipe at him and impales him into a freaking wall.
BAD ASS LINE: “Remember, Sully, when I promised to kill you last? … I lied. ”
All right, folks, that’s it for now. Stay tuned to Superfriends for the next installment of the 100 Greatest Movie Bad Asses!
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