You know the deal, no more stalling. Here we go…
#30 – Quint
MOVIE: Jaws (1975)
ACTOR: Robert Shaw
BAD ASS CREDENTIALS: Quint is the baddest shark hunter, fact or fiction, to have ever lived. Do you really need any more credibility than that? Do YOU hunt sharks? No. I didn’t think so. Quint, essentially, is a cooler version of Captain Ahab (of Moby Dick)… except with SHARKS.
MOST BAD ASS MOMENT: So, the impossibly huge shark has irreparably damaged the ship’s hull. Hooper, like a whiny bitch, has decided he’s going to radio the Coast Guard for help. Quint, with a mad look in his eye, comes in and destroys the radio with a baseball bat. He’ll be damned if he asks for help. He’ll kill the damn thing himself. Crazy or bad ass. You make the call.
BAD ASS LINE: ” Y’all know me. Know how I earn a livin’. I’ll catch this bird for you, but it ain’t gonna be easy. Bad fish. Not like going down the pond chasin’ bluegills and tommycods. This shark, swallow you whole.”
#29 – Aragorn
MOVIE: Lord of the Rings Trilogy (2001-2003)
ACTOR: Viggo Mortensen
BAD ASS CREDENTIALS: Aragorn is a drifter who becomes a protector of one of the most magical objects in the history of Middle Earth. This object is so powerful, in fact, that it must be destroyed before it continues to corrupt everyone it encounters. Aragorn leads the Fellowship that protects this ring, protects Helm’s Deep and kills orcs all on the way to taking his rightful place as King of Gondor.
MOST BAD ASS MOMENT: There are plenty. He helps defeat a mountain troll, he fights in both the battles of Helm’s Deep and Gondor. And of course he forces an entire ghost army to follow him into battle. But my favorite bad ass moment is a little more subtle. Frodo, overwhelmed with the power of the ring, offers it, freely to Aragorn. The ring calls to him, tries to seduce him… he can feel and sense and see all of its power. And he resists it and refuses the ring. A subtle moment of bad-assery.
BAD ASS LINE: ” I do not know what strength is in my blood, but I swear to you I will not let the White City fall, nor our people fail.”
#28 – Jef Costello
MOVIE: Le Samourai (1967)
ACTOR: Alain Delon
BAD ASS CREDENTIALS: Another Frenchman on the list? Totally. Jef Costello is one of the coolest on-screen characters you will ever see… even if he is in a French film. Costello is a calculating, obsessive and perfectionist hitman-for-hire. He goes about all his business like clockwork and when he sets out to accomplish something (i.e. killing some poor schmuck) he’ll get the job done. When his employers betray him and with the cops on his trail, Costello must outsmart both of them to get his comeuppance.
MOST BAD ASS MOMENT: Costello gets picked up by police as matching the description of someone they believed killed a night club owner (which he did.) With the police inspector convinced that Costello is the killer, he puts him through a series of line-ups and interrogations… and Costello never once breaks, acting and looking cool the entire time.
BAD ASS LINE: After coming up to the woman he’s been involved with the whole movie and pointing a gun at her, she asks him “Why?” His only response: “I was paid to.”
#27 – Mr. Blonde
MOVIE: Reservoir Dogs (1992)
ACTOR: Michael Madsen
BAD ASS CREDENTIALS: Mr. Blonde, real name: Vic Vega. Whatever you call him, he’s one sadistic bastard. Blonde is a recently released ex-con who immediately falls into his old ways and joins up with his old crime boss. The plan is, along with some other, err, “colorful” gangsters (and one undercover cop), to rob a jewelery store of some priceless diamonds.
MOST BAD ASS MOMENT: Things go wrong as the cops were waiting for them and Blonde takes one of them hostage. Instead of letting the cop go once he makes his getaway, Blonde stuffs him in a trunk and takes him to the rendezvous. He tells his partners he took him so he could question him as to why the cops knew about the heist, but in all reality he kidnapped to torture him… just for the hell of it. In one of the most disturbing scenes ever filmed, Blonde does a little dance to some 70s pop music while taking breaks from slicing, dicing and mutilating his victim.
BAD ASS LINE: “You gonna bark all day, little doggie… or are you gonna bite?”
#26 – Will Munny
MOVIE: Unforgiven (1992)
ACTOR: Clint Eastwood
BAD ASS CREDENTIALS: Will Munny is a pig farmer who has retired from his old job. What job was that? Being one of the most bad ass gunfighters in the west, that’s what. His now dead wife tamed him and taught him a life of peace. When someone hires him as a hitman to take out some scumbags that cut up a hooker, he realizes that his life of peace just isn’t cutting it. He saddles up once again and heads out to mete out some western justice.
MOST BAD ASS MOMENT: After the local sheriff gathers a posse to hunt him down, Munny instead just walks right into the saloon where they all gathered and guns each and everyone of them down
BAD ASS LINE: “That’s right. I’ve killed women and children. I’ve killed just about everything that walks or crawled at one time or another. And I’m here to kill you, Little Bill, for what you did to Ned.”
#25 – Bishop
MOVIE: The Wild Bunch(1969)
ACTOR: William Holden
BAD ASS CREDENTIALS: Hell, you could have the whole Wild Bunch on the list, but their leader is this bad ass: Pike Bishop. After their last score doesn’t go exactly as planned, they decide one last big score. But unfortunately one of their own gets captured by a Mexican general over a past grudge. Now these should just walk way, but damn it… he’s one of their own and they’re going to get him back.
MOST BAD ASS MOMENT: Pike with only three men for back up, walks into a Mexican town populated with HUNDREDS of soldiers to take back his buddy. When the Mexicans refuse, Bishop and friends proceed to take out every Mexican they see in the bloodiest action you’d ever think the 1960s was even capable of.
BAD ASS LINE: “We’re not gonna get rid of anybody! We’re gonna stick together, just like it used to be! When you side with a man, you stay with him! And if you can’t do that, you’re like some animal, you’re finished! *We’re* finished! All of us!”
#24 – Ethan Edwards
MOVIE: The Searchers (1956)
ACTOR: John Wayne
BAD ASS CREDENTIALS: You can’t have a list of bad asses without John Wayne, the traditional American hero icon. For this list, I chose his best role ever: Ethan Edwards. Edwards returns home to his brother’s family after the Civil War in hopes of leading a quiet life. But when the Commanche raid his brother’s home, kill everyone in sight and take the 9-year old daughter as hostage… the “quiet” life goes out the window. Little did the Commanche know that they raided the wrong farm, as Edwards is a racist, violent killer he goes on an obsessive years-long hunt to take down the Indians that killed his family.
MOST BAD ASS MOMENT: Finally catching up with the tribe that raided his family’s home, Edwards charges in and kills everything he can… and then scalps the Chief, Scar.
BAD ASS LINE: “Injun will chase a thing till he thinks he’s chased it enough. Then he quits. Same way when he runs. Seems like he never learns there’s such a thing as a critter that’ll just keep comin’ on. So we’ll find ’em in the end, I promise you. We’ll find ’em. Just as sure as the turnin’ of the earth.”
#23 – Marshall Will Kane
MOVIE: High Noon (1952)
ACTOR: Gary Cooper
BAD ASS CREDENTIALS: It’s Kane’s wedding day and last day as the town Marshall. All he wants to do is leave town with his smoking hot new wife (Grace Kelly) and start with the babymaking. However, Kane gets news that Frank Miller, a notorious criminal Kane put behind bars, was pardoned on a technicality and is coming back to town on the noon town to get revenge. Kane decides to stick around until the new Marshall gets into town, but it probably won’t be until after Miller gets there. His wife begs him to just leave, but he ain’t no coward. As the movie elapses in real time getting closer to the noon deadline, Kane goes around town trying to start a posse to help him out, but every backs down. Knowing he has to stand up to an entire gang of criminals out for his blood all by himself, Kane stands his ground.
MOST BAD ASS MOMENT: SPOILER! After Kane manages to defeat the entire gang, with no freaking help from the town of cowards. He takes off his badge and throws it at the feet of the townspeople. He doesn’t say “I just protected all your asses even though you didn’t back me up. You’re Welcome and fuck you” but he may as well have.
BAD ASS LINE: After being told to leave and it’s not worth it, he refuses to leave and face the challenge: “I’ve got to, that’s the whole thing.”
#22 – Michael Corleone
MOVIE: The Godfather Trilogy (1972-1990)
ACTOR: Al Pacino
BAD ASS CREDENTIALS: One of the most iconic on-screen mob bosses of all time. Michael starts out life as a war hero, not wanting anything to do with the business. But slowly but surely, he turns to the family lifestyle and sure enough, he’s on top running the whole operation… it’s like he was born to do it. Michael Corleone is cool, calculating, rarely loses his temper… but when he does… you feel his fucking wrath.
MOST BAD ASS MOMENT: During the ceremony where he becomes Godfather to his sister’s baby, he has set plans into motion to kill the heads of the rest of Five Families. It’s one of the most beautifully filmed sequences in the history of Hollywood. As images of the very holy and sacred Baptism are performed, scenes of brutal violence of Michael’s enemies all being mowed down are intercut. When the priest asks him if he renounces Satan and all his works it cuts to one of the Mob Bosses getting offed and back to Michael “I do.”
BAD ASS LINE: “I don’t feel I have to wipe everybody out, Tom. Just my enemies.”
#21 – Tyler Durden
MOVIE: Fight Club (1999)
ACTOR: Brad Pitt
BAD ASS CREDENTIALS: Tyler Durden is everything you want to be. He’s a man’s man. He looks like you want to look, fucks like you want to fuck. He is smart, capable and free in all the ways you are not. Durden is the epitome of what your subconscious yearns for you to be. He’s an anarchist who doesn’t play by the rules and wants to burn down the establishment. Isn’t that what you want to do to your cubicled, IKEA dominated, women’s lib, yuppie dominated world? Is he crazy? Or are you?
MOST BAD ASS MOMENT: Tyler is an anarchist… he wents to throw the world into chaos. His major plan? Blow up the headquarters of every credit card company… so that everyone’s balance goes to zero. It’s his way of flipping the finger at consumerism.
BAD ASS LINE: “I want you to hit me as hard as you can.”
All right, folks, that’s it for now. Stay tuned to Superfriends for the next installment of the 100 Greatest Movie Bad Asses!
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