DVD of the Day Presents: The 100 Greatest Movie Bad-Asses (#90-81)

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#’s 100 – 91



You know the deal, no more stalling. Here we go…


#90 – Smith




MOVIE: Shoot ’em Up (2006)
ACTOR: Clive Owen
BAD ASS CREDENTIALS: Carrot-chomping drifter that’s in the wrong place at the wrong time. He tries to protect a baby that mob for some reason wants to kill… and he’ll pretty much kill an entire city to protect it.
MOST BAD ASS MOMENT: He fucks that hot chick from The Matrix Reloaded and kills an ass load of hitmen… AT THE SAME TIME.
BAD ASS LINE: “Yeah? That’s a six-shooter. I just counted six shots. You’ve blown your load. ”


#89 – Beck




MOVIE: The Rundown (2003)
ACTOR: The Rock
BAD ASS CREDENTIALS: Bounty hunter sent down to South America to retrieve a mobster’s son, Beck runs into some local trouble. Beck doesn’t need guns, he has fists.
MOST BAD ASS MOMENT: The entire movie, Beck refuses to use guns, even in situations where they would be very beneficial. Finally, painted into a corner by bad guy Christopher Walken, Beck is forced to use guns to take out all the henchmen. Then you realize, he’s not afraid of guns… he’s afraid of what guns makes him become. Beck damn near takes out all of South America.
BAD ASS LINE: “You have two choices. Option A: you give me the ring. Option B: I *make* you give me the ring. ”


#88 – Boba Fett




MOVIE: The Empire Strikes Back (1980)
ACTOR: Jeremy Bulloch
BAD ASS CREDENTIALS: Bad ass intergalactic bounty hunter.
MOST BAD ASS MOMENT: Pretty much any time Boba is on screen. His most notable on-screen accomplishment is helping take down Han Solo, and hand delivering him to Jabba The Hutt. But really, just look at him. He just fucking looks cool.
BAD ASS LINE: “He’s no good to me dead.”


#87 – Paul Kearsey




MOVIE: The Death Wish series (1974-1994)
ACTOR: Charles Bronson
BAD ASS CREDENTIALS: What happens when you murder and rape a man’s wife and daughter? He fucking snaps and goes on a vigilante killing spree.
MOST BAD ASS MOMENT: Kearsey’s just chilling walking down the street, eating an ice cream bar, his expensive camera slung over his shoulder. Some stupid dumb shit gang banger runs up and steals the camera. Kearsey calmly tosses the ice cream, pulls out his hand cannon and blasts the son of a bitch to Kingdom Come.
BAD ASS LINE: “You believe in Jesus? Well… You’re gonna meet him. ”


#86 – Blade




MOVIE: The Blade series (1998-2004)
ACTOR: Wesley Snipes
BAD ASS CREDENTIALS: All of their strengths. None of their weaknesses. Half-Human and Half-Vampire, Blade is the “Daywalker.” And he’s out to kill every last vampire on the planet with his collection of knives, swords and ninja moves.
MOST BAD ASS MOMENT: You have your pick of any number of vampire-killing scenes. My personal favorite is Blade’s first onscreen appearance. Showing up at a vampire night club at the beginning of the first film, he proceeds to destroy every single last one of them.
BAD ASS LINE: “They’re are worse things out tonight than vampires.” “Like what?” “Like me.”


#85 – Riddick




MOVIE: Pitch Black (2000)
ACTOR: Vin Diesel
BAD ASS CREDENTIALS: Riddick is a violent sociopath killer with the ability to see in the dark. After a transport ship taking him to prison crash lands on a seemingly deserted planet, he makes a simple escape. Soon the entire crew is attacked by alien creatures that can only come out at night. Guess who their only hope is?
MOST BAD ASS MOMENT: After finally holding off all the aliens long enough to make repairs to the ship so they can escape, Riddick gets in the cockpit to fly. He seems to hesitate… but what’s he actually is waiting for as many aliens to descend on the ship… so he can blow the all up with the ships engine blast as they take off.
BAD ASS LINE: “They say most of your brain shuts down during cryo-sleep. All but the primitive side, the animal side. No wonder I’m still awake.”


#84 – Machete




MOVIE: Machete (2010)
ACTOR: Danny Trejo
BAD ASS CREDENTIALS: Um… didn’t I just say “Danny Trejo?” That’s all you need to know.
MOST BAD ASS MOMENT: You know what… it doesn’t matter. The whole movie. The whole damn movie.
BAD ASS LINE: “Machete don’t text.”


#83 – Seth Gecko




MOVIE: From Dusk Till Dawn (1996)
ACTOR: George Clooney
BAD ASS CREDENTIALS: Seth is a bank robber on his way to Mexico with his brother Richie to evade the police. They take a family hostage and use their RV to cross the border and end up at what appears to be a wild strip bar. And then… Holy shit! vampires!?
MOST BAD ASS MOMENT: Right before the final showdown, Seth finds a jack hammer and straps a wooden stake to it. You can figure out the rest of the details on your own.
BAD ASS LINE: “I know what’s going on. We got a bunch of fucking vampires out there, trying to get in here and suck our fucking blood. And that’s it. Plain and simple. I don’t want to hear anything about “I don’t believe in vampires,” because I don’t fucking believe in vampires, but I believe in my own two eyes, and what I saw, is fucking vampires. Now, do we all agree that what we are dealing with is vampires?”


#82 – Fox




MOVIE: Wanted (2008)
ACTOR: Angelina Jolie
BAD ASS CREDENTIALS: Our first female entry. Fox is an expert assassin, she can “curve” bullets and she’s really freaking hot.
MOST BAD ASS MOMENT: I can’t even describe it. Just watch this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lsmk13sVjVs
BAD ASS LINE: ” I want you to curve the bullet.”


#81 – Mason




MOVIE: The Rock (1996)
ACTOR: Sean Connery
BAD ASS CREDENTIALS: Tourists at Alcatraz are taken hostage by a group of renegade Marines. Now the only man who can break into “the Rock” to save them… is the only man who ever broke out of it.
MOST BAD ASS MOMENT: He breaks out of and back into Alcatraz! If that’s not hardcore enough… it’s also Sean Connery who pretty much rules in anything he’s in.
BAD ASS LINE: “Your best? Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen.”


All right, folks, that’s it for now. Stay tuned to Superfriends for the next installment of the 100 Greatest Movie Bad Asses!

Adolfo

Adolfo is a pretentious film douche bag that feels better about wasting four years of film school by posting movie reviews online.

About Adolfo

Adolfo is a pretentious film douche bag that feels better about wasting four years of film school by posting movie reviews online.
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