Laidback Gourmet: Sandy Hook Stiff Ice Tea

Hello and welcome back to this week’s Laidback Gourmet, where we are really starting to get into the spirit. Three weeks in a row of adult beverage themed reviews will do that to a person.

While it’s a well known fact that I was born and raised in Edmerica not everyone realizes just how often my family visited the American state of New Jersey. Why, I’ve been to the Central Jersey shore so often it’s practically a second home for me. Around that area one of my favorite places to visit was Sandy Hook. For those not in the know, Sandy Hook is a national park that is comprised of many different beaches for you’re swimming, surfing and tanning pleasure. Why not just visit the many beaches of Edmerica you might ask? One word: Tenacools. Seriously, we’re overrun by the things.

There’s not enough Max Repels in Kanto to get me in that water

so anyway, on my last visit to the Sandy Hook region I came across a local pub that was selling something that caught my attention:

Do you think it contains alcohol?

Sandy Hook Stiff Ice Tea. Now, on one hand you might remember that I’m a huge fan of iced tea. Also, on the other hand I’m not a prude when it comes to drinks of a potable nature. So I figured, let’s put those hands together and see what we get!

Actually, to be fair, the idea of alcoholic iced tea isn’t really a new idea. There’s more twisted and spiked iced teas around then you can shake a stick at if shaking a stick at bottles of alcohol is your idea of a good time. I hear that’s how Vince McMahon spends every Wednesday night. No, that’s not what really grabbed my attention was the localization of the beverage. It’s one thing to have a “stiff” iced tea. It’s another to have a stiff iced tea from the town you’re visiting! It’s usually better tasting to have something locally brewed!

Well, turns out jokes on me though since this wasn’t brewed anywhere near New Jersey, but instead comes all the way from Wisconsin. So much for locally brewed. Eh, that’s what I get for not reading labels first. I hope it still tastes good with no cheese aftertaste. Let’s pour it out:

Apparently pouring with one hand and shooting a camera with another is a highly sought after skill. Who knew?

Well, it LOOKS like iced tea. And it smells like iced tea. There’s no real smell of alcohol present, but with a measly 5% alcohol per volume, that’s not really a surprise. Really, at 5% this is practically “near beer”. It would take 54 cases of the stuff to even begin to get Andre the Giant buzzed. Let’s give it a try:


chug a lug a lug

Pretty good actually. Kind of tastes like a mild alcoholic version of Snapple iced tea, which is pretty much what I was hoping for. It’s clear that there’s alcohol is present but it’s subtly in the background and actually kind of ads to the generic snapple-like ice tea taste as opposed to detracts.

Truth be told, I’m not even sure what kind of alcohol this is. If I had to guess it’s probably grain-based, similarly to that of beer, but with better taste. The idea of alcoholic iced tea isn’t really that wacky an idea since it’s been done so many times before, but making it localized gives it some points. Also calling it “stiff” is also worth a small sophomoric point boost in the wacky department. Final Score:

Well that wraps up this edition of the Laidback Gourmet. Thank you as always for reading and please send all feedback to Until next time, I’m Ed DiFolco, your Laidback Gourmet wishing to remind you that if you have any extra Max Repels on hand, please please please send them to Edmerica. We need all the help we can get fighting the Tentacool menace.

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