Welcome back to the Laidback Gourmet, we have a double-decker dose of duality here today. Gum is something we don’t do a lot here on the Laidback Gourmet. Its gum. While it does come in so many different flavors very rarely do you find one that’s wacky enough to talk about here. Seriously, what am I supposed to say, “This one is mint flavored.” “This one is ALSO mint flavored.” “This one comes in a stick shape.”
However, once in a while you come across a gum that’s just so wacky it can’t be ignored and I have to take a look at it. Today is one of those times because Im taking a look at Sour Patch Kids flavored gum:
Fire Red and Leaf Green Gum. (Seriously, why was that never a thing?)
Seriously, who looked at Sour Patch Kids and said, “You know what would make these better? Making them even chewier.” While the original Sour Patch Kids come in four flavors the gum only comes in two: Lime and Redberry. Suck on that Orange and Lemon! Let’s take a look at the Lime one first.
They look so happy that you’re about to devour them alive
It’s a fun art design and I like how gum packets open up like a wallet now a days. Observe:
Someone graffiti tagged my gum!!!
“The Gum that tells you to go suck a lime then wraps your tongue”
No seriously… what?
Look, I understand that the whole motto of Sour Patch kids is that “first they’re sour then they’re sweet”, so you have a commercial where an anthropomorphic candy child stabs you in your junk, but then lovingly holds your hand while you wait for the ambulance, but what the hell is that even supposed to mean? “Wrap your tongue” is supposed to be sweet? Is that supposed to be some sort of vague sexual reference? …a vague sexual reference from sour patch KIDS? KIDS? Is this the only gum that is an official sponsor of “To Catch A Predator”?
Alright alright, I need to move on. Like, right now, let’s unwrap one… (Oh god, everything I write just sounds wrong now!)
Here rests Gumby
Aw, come on! They’re not even kid shaped! Though Im pretty sure if it was kid shaped it would make the whole thing even creepier than it already is. Let me just slide this in my mouth already. (Oh god, everything STILL sounds wrong!)
Actually, the gum has a pleasant strong lime flavor, almost that of a lime lifesaver. I don’t know if there’s much of a sour part of these sour patch kids but it really does remind me of the candy that shares it’s name. Let’s try to leave the creepy behind and take a look at the red gum now.
Have you ‘red’ the label yet?
Redberry? Is that a flavor now? Is that brought to you by the same people that have made “Blue” a flavor? The thing is, there’s LOTS of red berries. Cherries, Strawberries, Raspberries, Cranberries… is this just a mix of all of them, or do they just pick one at a time? Alright, let’s see what horrors await me when I open this pack up.
That’s one bad ass gummy child!
He’s going to work my mouth like a puppeteer. Yea… totally not creepy. Screw this, let’s move on and wrap this up.
Here rests Pokey
Shut it, Im eating it now.
nom nom, whatever, lets just wrap this up before the creepy overwhelms me
This one is quite good as well. I’m not sure what berry it actually is, and it sort of reminds me of Swedish Fish, in a good way. This one is slightly more tart, but still not nearly as potent as actual Sour Patch Kids. All in all, its a quality gum if you’re a fan of the candy. And these might be wayyyyyy more creepy than wacky, but they’re still pretty freaking wacky. Final Score:
Now this is what I called a sticky situation! That wraps this one up. Thanks as always for reading, I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did writing it. Please feel free to send all praise to my email at SuperfriendEd@Gmail.com. Until next time, I’m Ed DiFolco, your Laidback Gourmet and I’m going to go take a shower and washy the creepy away.