The Laidback Gourmet: Kellog’s Super Mario Fruit Snacks

Welcome to the Laidback Gourmet, and we’ve got a super edition this time. This one’s gonna be a 5 star episode. I really 1-up’ed up myself today. Long story short I’m reviewing these:

So I’m heading down the cereal of my supermarket and I see Super Mario and the gang staring back at me. Unfortunately no, they didn’t break back Ninetendo Cereal System, that would have been sweet. Actually it was a box of Super Mario fruit snacks. I remember these as a kid, they used to come in all sorts of shapes but all pretty much tasted the same. Hey, there’s even a puzzle on the back.

Soduku for morons. This is a rant for another day, but remember when you used to get GOOD stuff in boxes you bought as kids? Toys? Comics? Or at least a mail in offer to get something cool. Now a days, everything is just some half-assed thing painted onto the back of a box. Oh well, let’s open the box and take a bag out.

I really like the artwork here, but man, can they spare the amount they give you? I know the joke is that I have larger than normal hands, but this bag is like a matchbook in them!. Oh well, I guess these are intended for little kids. Well, the box showed 6 different colors and very detailed shapes. I wonder what we really get? I’ll just open these up and…

Well, I got a bunch of stars and Luigi but no Toad. Looks like our flavor orange is in another castle!

??????: “Oh oh! That’s a-good joke-a!”

Oh for the love of… who are you?

??????: “Its a-me; Moirio! I’ma yer cousin from Italy! I’ma here to help-a you wish yer review-a!”

*Sighs* well, since your here, you want to give me your opinion on how these fruit snacks look?

Moirio: “They look-a like the crap. I’ma outta here, i’m gonna take-a the warp whistle to da apple crisp world.”

Yea, awesome… thanks for that in depth insight. Alright, truthfully, if we take a look at the Luigi fruit snack:

You’ll see they’re actually not bad when compared to other fruit snacks and gummis, you really can tell you’re looking at Luigi, and I do like how each character/shape is set to a particular color, especially since we have a red Mario, green Luigi, and yellow star. I bet the blue Yoshis just fly right off the shelves. (That’s a Super Mario World pun btw.) The problem is that while they aren’t bad for fruit snacks, when compared to the boxart its really kind of laughable. However, enough with how they look, lets see how they taste.

*Om Nom Nom*

These are actually better than I remember fruit snacks being. They don’t stick to your teeth nearly as badly, but instead have a nice soft chewy texture without being obnoxiously sticky. The taste is pretty good too. They may not be as good as real gummi bears, but they’re better that fruit roll ups. I’ll score this one 80 coins out of 100. Not quite enough for a free life, but pretty close.

Well that concludes this Nintendo-riffic edition of the Laidback Gourmet. Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoy this one as much as I did. Please warp your comments to Until next time, I’m Ed DiFolco, your Laidback Gourmet who’s going to go get some estimates on buying some used Doom Ships. Never hurts to be prepared.

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