Laidback Gourmet: M&M Chocolate Bar

Welcome back to the Laidback Gourmet! I was reading the other day in the Daily Prophet that Dementor attacks are on the rise so I figured I should go out and arm myself by buying some chocolate. What kind should I buy though, there’s certainly enough to choose from. So I decided to go with my personal fav, M&Ms. How can you not love those little colorful bite size candies that melt in your mouth and not in your hand? And since Mars can’t go 15 hours without introducing a new variation of M&Ms, lo and behold, what did I see when I went to the store, why, shockingly, a new variation of M&Ms!

I was just thinking that the world needed a new chocolate bar.

This is absolutely brilliant. Mars saw that people were getting tired of having tiny little candied colored chocolates and did something truly revolutionary, they turned their chocolate into a hand held bar form! However, fans of the original candy need not worry, they’ve added their candied chocolates into their chocolate bar. I really think this is the only way I can sum this up:

It’s A-meme-zing!

I have never listened to one of his songs ever but because of that meme he’s my favorite rapper. Sorry Woll Smoth.. Let’s open this bar up and check out this revolutionary movement in chocolate.

Sweet Googly Moogly!

Oh dear god. I know I’ve been teasing Mars a bit about the idea of them making an M&M chocolate bar but apparently they really did do something I’ve never seen before. Just look at that face:

Behold: The Face of HORROR

I have never seen such a horrifying image ever put on something edible before, not even the crotch stomping Doritos. Just look at it. The wide eyed pupil-less anthropomorphic candy, screaming in horror as it’s being sucked into the candy bar, forced to become one with the chocolate. It’s like that boss in Castlevania, Legion! Except instead of being a mass of souls it’s a mass of chocolate which is nearly as delicious as a mass of souls. That’s a face that’s not only faced with horrors man was not meant to face but it’s already resigned to the fact that’s he’s already doomed. It’s hopeless. Surprisingly dark for a milk chocolate bar of chocolate. Alright let’s tear off a piece and try it:

The delicious departed souls of a dozen dead candies

Once again, thanks to the image imprinted on the bar, all I can see here is a green piece of candy that was desperately trying to avoid it’s horribly delicious fate in vein. Oh well, sucks to be her, let’s eat!

*om nom nom*

It’s actually pretty good but honestly, what did we really expect? It didn’t even cry out in horror as I took a bite which was a nice surprise. The gimmick of having mini m and ms is cute and makes for a colorful bar but ultimately it adds nothing because the chocolate in the candy shells is the exact same chocolate that they’re suspended in. It’s really just a gimmick for gimmick sake. However on the positive side, the chocolate is pretty good, again, as you would expect since it’s Mars’ chocolate. All in all, pretty good though I think I’d rather just have some normal M&Ms instead. Final score:


Well that concludes this surprisingly morbid edition of the Laidback Gourmet. I mean I like dark chocolate, but that’s ridiculous!

“Ahem, dear boy, you’ve used that joke already.” “

Admittedly I couldn’t decided which punchline I liked more. Anyway, you can tell me which one you liked more by emailing me at You can also use that link to send me suggestions for future episodes. Until next time, I’m Ed DiFolco, your Laidback Gourmet, and after all that Legion talk earlier, I think I really want to go back and play Symphony of the Night again!

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