Laidback Gourmet: Mega Stuffed Oreos

Welcome back to the Laidback Gourmet where bigger is apparently better. Oh Oreos… never mind that you ripped off Hydrox, you’re still pretty much the best cookie ever. First you had the original cookie with its single layer of filling, and it was good. Later on Oreo doubled your pleasure by doubling the filling with their double stuffed variety, and my personal variant of Oreo cookie. Well, today I was walking through my local supermarket and what was looking back at me? It was the next evolution of Oreos. First you had single… then double… and now… MEGASTUFFED:

The middle of these cookies expand like America’s waistband.

MEGASTUFFED?!?! Seriously? This is a real thing and not just something you’d see off College Humor? I love the fact that Oreos felt like Americans weren’t getting enough sugary goo in our diet so they decided they needed to add even more filling to their cookies, and god bless them for that. It was like Oreo made this just so I could review them. Hell, I didn’t even see them til they were already in my cart! This review was so preordained they just magically formed into existence right into my cart before I even entered the store.

Just look at that package, there’s so much to talk about! For one, you notice how the natural order of things would seem to suggest that these should be called ‘triple stuffed’? You know, single, double, triple, etc, it would make sense. However, Nabisco has decided that “triple” is for punks and just upgraded straight to “Mega”. Which, of course you know exactly what that makes me think of:

I’ll defeat you with diabetes!

You gain that power by beating “Morbidly Obese Man”. I also love how the package says that it’s only around for a limited time. That same disclaimer is given for everyone that eats this things! Also apparently there’s some sort of election going on about “Cookie vs. Cream”. I can’t help but feel that a package filled with MEGA STUFFED cookies might be a little biased in that debate. Alright, I can’t wait any longer, lets tear this package open, I gotta see what MEGA STUFFED cookies look like.

Serving size: 1/3rd a cookie

Wow, look at all those chubby little cookies. Seriously, the metaphors write themselves. Just look at these things. I’m seriously stunned over how much filling is in each cookie.

There is literally more filling than there is cookie. The filling is literally thicker than the width of the two cookies. I was wondering how does one morph a regular oreo into something like this. However, if you look closely at my blurry picture you can see exactly how these are made. These clearly have two “double stuffed” fillings pressed into each other, you can even see the slight divot where they were pressed together. Well there you go, that’s why they’re not called “Tripled stuffed”. They’re clearly “Quadruple stuffed.” Oreos: Where we’ve never heard the saying “too much of a good thing.” Let’s try them:

om nom nom

Alright, I know I’ve been making jokes about these cookies this whole review but I have to say they’re not bad. At the end of the day they still taste like Oreos. However, they taste like Oreos who are out of balance. That’s why I’ll speak much higher of these than I can of those Birthday Cake Flavored Oreos. While those tasted overly sweet and nothing like an oreo, these still remind you of the cookies you know and love, they’re just out of balance. Where’s Anakin when you need it to restore the balance? While I wouldn’t want to make a steady diet of these, and I still think Double Stuffed is much better, they’re still close enough to the normal cookie we know and love to get a passing grade from me. My score:

One has to wonder though, first single. Then double. Now Quadruple… what’s next? What does the future hold?

Coming in 2015, quickly followed by the end of civilization as we know it.

Well that concludes this “Fat joke” edition of the Laidback Gourmet. Thank you, as always, for reading and please send your thoughts, suggestions, and praise to Until next time, I’m Ed DiFolco, your Laidback Gourmet here to remind you, that yes, Oreos really did completely rip off Hydrox, but hey, history is written by the winners!

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