Laidback Gourmet: Swedish Fish Jelly Beans & Edible Grass

Welcome back to the Laidback Gourmet and Hoppy Easter to all my Peter and Peterina Cottentails out there. Im fairly sure Peterina’s a girl’s name, right? Well, I must have been a good little reviewer because I found really wacky things to review for this holiday edition of the Laidback Gourmet. Let’s first start with Swedish Fish Jellybeans.

To answer your immediate question, yes these exist.

I happen to love Swedish Fish. They’re such a unique candy. They’re not quite as gummy as gummy bears but not quite the same texture as a jujube. And if their texture is hard to describe what can you say about their flavor? What exact flavor IS a swedish fish? It’s not really a cherry. Nor any other kind of berry really. I think when asked what do they taste like you can only answer “like Swedish fish” because practically nothing else tastes like them! (Except for Sour Patch Kids Redberry Gum, of course, but I talked about that in a different review.)

Let’s pour them out and see what they look like:

There will NOT be a guess the amount in the bowl contest

Well right off the bat they certainly smell like Swedish Fish, even if they don’t remotely look like them. More like eggs than fish.

Heh, you know what I just thought of? If these are Swedish Fish candies, and they’re shaped like little eggs, that would technically make this candy caviar, wouldn’t it? Or at the very least, roe. Well let’s see if these are as fancy as caviar.

*om nom nom*

Well dip me in dye and call me an Easter Egg… they really DO taste like Swedish Fish. The taste is spot on! What’s even better is that they have the texture of jelly beans so they take away the one negative about Swedish Fish; their unpleasant habit of getting stuck in your teeth. These are great! Full marks, five out of five! And considering they’re basically candy caviar, pretty high marks for wackiness too!

Next up is one of the wackier things I’ve ever had to review: Candy Grass:

Yes, this exists too…

This product baffles me. Who looked at a pile of plastic Easter grass and said, “You know what this needs? To be edible!”

To be fair, I guess the concept is pretty cool. With a little bit of effort using this grass you could probably make an Easter Basket that’s 100% edible.

The packaging is fascinating too what with the cute little bunny on the right hand side and the suggestion “Fills an Easter Basket” on the right. Thanks for that, otherwise I might used it to fill a Halloween Pumpkin. Though I think the best part of the packaging is where in giant letters it boldly states “Imported From Germany” because it means I can finally use this picture:

Ah, it’s the simple things in life that brings me joy. Now that I got the obligatory Simpsons reference out of the way let’s open this up and see what this grass looks like:

The Eye Of Sauron if Sauron was a vegan hippie.

I dunno, looks more like a nest than it does a pile of grass. Also it’s a very odd texture. The grass crumbles and breaks off like its brittle yet it feels very rough to the touch and doesn’t tear easily. Im not exactly sure how both statements can be true at the same time, but look:

The Eye Of Sauron if Sauron was a vegan hippie.

I had a tough time tearing off some to eat while other bits and pieces were just falling off like crazy. Well, all that matters is the taste so let’s try it.

*om nom nom*

That’s… certainly… interesting. First off the candy just sorts of slowly melts in your mouth as you try to eat it. Also it has pretty much no flavor what so ever. Yes, its edible, but technically so’s paper, which is pretty much all this tastes like.

Alright, that’s not 100% true, it does actually taste like something but its a very odd comparison. It almost tastes like Communion host, which I guess is pretty appropriate considering this is an Easter review. You know, the odd flavorless texture that slowly melts but also needs to be chewed?

Ok, if that reference offends then let me offer an even more obscure comparison. Has anyone ever had the old school candy Flying Saucers?

The Eye Of Sauron if Sauron was a vegan hippie.

These candies are little pockets made out of a very similar material that’s filled with tiny candies that spill out as the pocket melts. To be honest I have no idea what edible grass, flying saucers, or Communion Hosts are made out of but Id be willing to bet they all share a similar recipe.

However since this grass offers neither little tiny candies or eternal salvation all I end up with is flavorless paper-like shreds in my mouth with no benefits what so ever. The idea itself is clever to have edible decorations for a basket and it’s certainly wacky enough but they really should have focused more on making it taste like something… ANYTHING. Final Score:

Well that concludes this double feature edition of the Laidback Gourmet. Happy Holidays to those who celebrate the various holidays of this Spring Season. Thank you as always for reading and please feel free to send any feedback to Until next time I’m Ed DiFolco, your Laidback Gourmet and you’ll have to excuse me, I’m off to see if I can find any Cadbury Eggs.

PS: I totally didn’t misspell “Swedish” with two e’s every freaking time I wrote it out for some reason. That’s a complete slanderous lie.

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