Ludacris – Battle of the Sexes [2010]
Written by Big D
There is no denying that Ludacris has had a tremendous career. For the past 10 years, Luda has worked his way to the top and become the most successful self-made southern rapper in hip hop. As I examined Ludacris’ decade-long discography, I noticed that while the strength of his singles faded towards the latter half of his tenure, but replaced by more conceptual, consistent albums, peaking with 2008′s Theatre of the Mind. So in 2010, Luda was set to drop Battle of the Sexes, his 7th studio album and what could be seen as a celebratory release; a final uppercut to the haters that he was a made man. Unfortunately, Battle of the Sexes is a record that would only fan those flames.
The original concept behind Battle of the Sexes was that it was going to be a duet album with Shawnna, his female protege from Disturbing Tha Peace. The idea was to basically do a record where we see the perspectives of both male and the female representation of specific topics. Allegedly, Shawnna bounced on Luda in late 2009 and left the label, leaving Ludacris with the album in his lap. After Shawnna left, Luda liked the concept so much that he still wanted to do it, so instead enlisted the help of a number of guest appearances from femcees (and I use that term VERY loosely here) as well as other male R&B artists and rappers. So what you have is a record that was crafted very similarly to Theatre of the Mind in terms of it being a large collaborative release; except making a comparison would be ludicrous, pun intended. How can you compare Jay-Z and Nas to Flo-Rida and Lil Scrappy? How can you compare Common and Lil Wayne to Lil Kim and Trina?
Battle of the Sexes is an embarrassingly bad album, and its not bad because it’s “too commercial” asa lot of you elitists would assume (I would know, I used to be an elitist), it’s just BAD commercial rap. The majority of the songs are obnoxious, overly-synthesized club songs and a handful of sex anthems. The album NEVER leaves its comfort zone, and while there are moments that are head and shoulders above others, getting to those moments is more challenging than finding a wrinkle on Miley Cyrus. The album feels sloppy and rushed, and perhaps it was! The rhymes are milquetoast, the hooks are far from catchy, the beats are headache-inducing, and the aforementioned guest appearances are downright putrid.
The singles are pure zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. “How Low” is a throwback to the krunk era, except without the yelling, and it sucks. This is Luda’s worst lead single ever. Comparing “What’s Your Fantasy” or “Stand Up” to this is like comparing Natalie Portman to Anne Frank (showing love to the jews!). The second single, “My Chick Bad”, features the new flavor-of-the-month femcee Nicki Minaj, who’s playing up some wacky black Lady Gaga gimmick. Hey Nicki, the black Lady Gaga already exists and has been around for a while; her name is Missy Elliot. Rhymes about sliding up and down a pole and being kinky is a topic Luda has visited repeatedly, and after making a song as crude as “P Poppin”, why even do a sequel? The “My Chick Bad (Remix)” was also a single, with Diamond, Eve, and Trina. I’m shocked to discover Eve is alive in 2010 and as for Trina, well, I wish she wasn’t. “Sex Room” is the only single I like, with its smooth crystalized production with Trey Songz doing his best R. Kelly impression and Luda doing a rehash of “Splash Waterfalls” (and even MENTIONS it). I like how Luda switches his flow up here, and its a welcome change. “Hey Ho” is a song that has no business being made. Lil Kim, who, after her most recent nose surgery, resembles a care bear, and Lil Fate team with Luda and present the most cliche commercial rap song you’ll ever hear.
But regardless of how bad those are, there is some tracks on this album that make me want to Paul Pierce Ludacris in the face. “Everybody Drunk” is a krunk song in 2010. Not to sound like an elitist, but I hate krunk and always will. If you’ve heard one Lil Scrappy song, you’ve heard them all. Luda’s vocals are still clean, but his punchline ability is fading and Scrappy is just average in every sense of the word. Glorifying drunk driving? Nice job Luda, Pepsi will love that! “Party No Mo” is half party, half trap rap, but not the good kind like T.I., the shitty kind. Another song about drinking and partying (it’s nonstop on this album), but this one is specially bad. Luda is joined by Gucci Mane, one of the worst rappers to ever touch a mic (sorry M), but thankfully just does a hook here and no verse. Annoying does not begin to describe this. “Feelin So Sexy” is one of the FEW joints on the record without a guest appearance… oh wait… Shawnna is on it. Does that count? I assume this was done before she left. How do I describe this one? Well, it’s a (MUCH) weaker version of “Doin’ It”. Understand, I’m ALRIGHT with an album that’s entirely for the ladies. LL himself did a pretty damn good job with that on Ten, but if everything just comes off so sleep-inducing, then DO SOMETHING ELSE!
You’re probably wondering if there is anything GOOD on Battle of the Sexes. Well, there is, but theres NO 5 star songs; which Luda has always had at least a handful of on all prior albums. I already mentioned “Sex Room”, Two collabs with R&B artists (“Can’t Live With You” and “Tell Me A Secret”) and the Neptunes-produced “Sexting”. “Can’t Live With You” stands out because unlike 80% of the record, it’s actually a mature look at the irritation involved in relationships from both sides of the spectrum. Monica, a throwback to 90s R&B, actually semi-sing/raps here and does a good job. This is exactly the kind of song that I was hoping would make up all of Battle of the Sexes, perfectly illustrating common relationship issues we all go through (like the chicks stealing your phone and looking through it to see if you are cheating; something EVERY WOMAN ON THIS PLANET DOES!!!!). Nice to see it from a certain point of view (right Obi?). Ne-Yo has been one hell of a hit-maker, and he follows through with “Tell Me A Secret”, a song where Luda examines the little things that are important about his woman, then quickly switches it into another sex anthem, but a good one! A fun song. The bonus track “Sexting” is a throwback to classic creative Luda. This time, Luda dedicates an entire song to his woman going through his text messages and his obsession with texting chicks, using all of the memes involved. This is “Area Codes” level fun. Performance-wise, Luda is top-notch, and shows that seemingly lost ability to make a creative, radio-friendly song, while managing to switch up the flow and be witty. I wish the rest of the album was like that.
I don’t give a fuck if you have an idea for the greatest concept album ever made, if it sucks, its not worth the plastic it was written on. Since his last album was probably the bonafied peak of his career creatively, it is tragic and downright absurd to see just how much Luda has regressed with this record. It’s like he took 2 steps forward, and 5 steps back. There is no other way to say it: Battle of the Sexes sucks and is the first album in Luda’s discography that is disposable. Has he ever made a 5 star classic? Nope, but he also made good albums and never put me to sleep like he does here. Next year, Luda plans to release his eighth album, Ludaversal, which I hope is a return to form because quite frankly THIS battle will forever be enlodged in the L column.
