Basic Non-Spoiler Plot Summary: The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles – Leonardo, Donatello, Raphael, and Michelangelo – are back, and so is The Shredder, as he returns to get his revenge on the Turtles for what happened during the events of the first film; and, as you’d expect, Master Tatsu and the rest of the Foot Clan tag along for the ride. However, the Turtles are about to learn something very interesting about their origins, as is Shredder, which makes him that much more dangerous….



The Pros: Being released not even a YEAR after the first film, “Turtle-Mania” was still running wild, and I remember eagerly waiting in line at the theater to see this – as a near-4 year old. I also remember enjoying it immensely from top-to-bottom – as a near-4 year old. However, watching it today, oh so many years later, it’s just not the same experience. But for right now, I’m going to get to the PROS of the film. Remember how I said yesterday that these TMNT films are NOT known for their acting? Well, something that they are (and should) be known for is their fight sequences, because even though this film SEVERELY toned down the violence compared to the first film, the fight sequences were still pretty awesome. It’s like watching Monday Night RAW, or WWE in general, in its current state – sure it’s PG rated, but more often than not, the matches are still good (Divas notwithstanding). This was what the fight sequences of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II felt like – PG rated-WWE – less violent, but still awesome. I also liked how the Turtles’ origin story was expanded, which made for a more interesting plot. Also – the Turtles themselves. Sure, I will be the first to admit that the film, as a whole, is VERY campy – but you know what, the reason why I probably liked it so much as kid is because I associated the campiness undeniably with the cartoon – and watching this film again recently, that’s exactly what I did. The poorly-delivered lines and corny dialogue sent me back to that time in my life when I was a “Turtle-Manic,” and as corny as a lot of those lines were, I didn’t mind it at all. Finally, Paige Turco as April O’Neil – sure, she really didn’t resemble the April O’Neil from the cartoon, well, AT ALL – but she was mighty fine eye candy nonetheless.


The Cons (contains SPOILERS): Like I mentioned before, the film was probably too campy for its own good, but at least for me that was a positive. The real CONS of this film have more to do with plot devices than with actual acting (which, like I mentioned twice before already, isn’t this franchise’s strength). Firstly, I agree sincerely with Big D’s assessment (I forget whether he mentioned this on Pixels & Bits on Monday or Superfriends last night) that Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II probably should’ve featured Bebop and Rocksteady rather than Tokka and Rahzar; if the filmmakers were trying to completely go for the feel of the show (toned down violence, campy humor, etc.), then they should’ve included villains from the actual show other than Shredder, like BEBOP and ROCKSTEADY. Instead we got original villains TOKKA and RAHZAR, who before this film, NEVER appeared on the cartoon series, and have since appeared only ONCE, during the shows “red sky” days (if you listened to Superfriends and/or are a TMNT fan, you’ll know what I mean by “red sky”). Next, the Vanilla Ice bit, “Ninja Rap,” was so embarrassing to watch today (not that Vanilla Ice isn’t embarrassing to watch regardless) but I sincerely felt that, despite my endorsement of the film’s campiness earlier, was just TOO campy – to the point that I just shook my head throughout this whole scene. I may have enjoyed this when I was a youngling, but those days are OVER. Finally, the death of Super Shredder (a.k.a. DIESEL b.k.a. Kevin Nash – the STAR of this film) was a huge letdown. My assumption is that he “overdosed” on the ooze, and that’s what REALLY killed him (or as Big D puts it, “a pro-wrestling death”), because I refuse to believe that a wooden BRIDGE could kill fucking SUPER SHREDDER. Fucking BULLSHIT.


Oh, and one more thing….WHERE THE FUCK WAS CASEY JONES IN ALL THIS???


Conclusion: The 1991 version of myself would give Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze a 5/5 rating. The 2010 version of myself is not that insane. Sure, this is still a film that I will obviously be watching again in the future – hell, I still own the VHS that was given to me for my 5th birthday in 1992. It’s nostalgia, and whenever I watch this, I will still, in a way, watch it just like I did all those years ago, as the kid in me, to a certain extent, has not yet gone away. However, I have realized – part of growing up, after all – that things are never always the way you perceive them to be forever; as you grow wiser, so do your opinions on all aspects of your life – even CHILDHOOD MOVIES. This has led me to really reexamine Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II and conclude that, while the film really does have its flaws (Bad acting, corny dialogue, Tokka and Rahzar, Vanilla Ice, Super Shredder’s death scene, NO Casey Jones), the campiness of the film, while detracted by many, instead evokes feelings of nostalgia for me, taking me back to a time when life was so much simpler – an era ruled by “Turtle Power!”




Final Score: *** (3/5)




Don’t miss tomorrow’s (Friday’s) review of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III, featuring the RETURN of ELIAS KOTEAS!




Until then, I’m out!