“Tonight I dine on Turtle Soup…”
Cowabunga!!! Welcome to a Turtle-riffic edition of the Laidback Gourmet. Today we’re going to be doing something a little different. As my loyal readers know my gimmick is to review things you can usually go right to the store and buy. Well today, we’ll be looking at somethings that I’d be stunned shocked and amazed if you were able to buy any of it today. However, I know I bought my fair share as a kid. What am I rambling on about?
Well, as TMNT week draws to a close, I figured it was the job of the Laidback Gourmet to look back at some of the food items that the turtles whored themselves out for. And make no mistake, they whored themselves out to quite a few different food products. I’m not going to look at every single turtle-based food we had as kids, just some of my favorites. First up is Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Cereal.
Great commercial, I particularly liked the decapitation of Shredder at the end of it. Also, I remember thinking as a kid, what kind of restaurant can you visit and eat cereal at? AND have the turtles serve you said cereal! I know I wanted to eat there… hell, I STILL would want to eat there!
As for the cereal, let’s face it. It was Chex with marshmallows. Though not just normal Marshmallows. NINJA marshmallows. When you go to the bathroom afterwards you sometimes hear a small whisper go “ninja vanish, back in shadows”.
I’d love to go back and try it again, since I loved the cereal as a kid, however I wonder if that’s just because I was a huge TMNT fan. Next up we have TMNT Chef Boyardee Pasta:
I wanted to find the ad where the kids were saying who they wanted to be, and one poor child kept getting interrupted. Finally he turns into Shredder and chases the other kids away. Not many kids foods ads show someone turning so quickly to the dark side. Though admittedly I may be confusing this product with Mac and Cheese with turtle shapes. Either way I cannot find the commerical for it.
Anyway, TMNT Boyardee Pasta was nothing more than normal Chef Boyardee pasta in “turtle” shapes. And by turtle shapes I mean they turn into soggy blobs. The pasta isn’t even that good, but that didn’t matter. They had the turtles’ faces on it so we wanted it. Oh, and everything I just said here is pretty much the same for the TMNT Mac and Cheese as well. Next up, TMNT Hostess Pudding Pies.
I love these old commericals. All 4 turtles on the screen hopping around shilling their good through song. Willy Wonka would be proud. Seriously though, how awesomely lazy are these things? Take a standard Hostess pudding pie and dye it green and insert some cheap TMNT stickers in the packages and watch the sales go through the roof. All snarkyness aside, I loved these things. Sadly I don’t think they make pudding pies anymore. That makes me a said LBG. Well, let’s cheer up with some humor:
Ah, I love demotivational posters, so what better way to show off TMNT “Ice Cream Pops”. I put that in quotes because I’m pretty sure they contained no actual ice cream but more of an “ice milk” or “water ice” or something other than actual honest to goodness ice cream. But what WAS honest to goodness was our love of eating the faces of our childhood heroes. And the bubble guy eyes made the cannibalism all the sweeter. Last but not least is something I had forgotten about until I started looking for pictures of the ice cream bars, and thats TMNT Pizza Crunchabungas.
I don’t have too much to say about these snacks. Sadly I don’t remember what they tasted like. I remember that I ate them. I remember that they were a special treat that I loved. However, I cannot for the life of me remember the actual taste. Yet even without remembering the taste of them just seeing that picture really brought back a powerful wave of nostalgia that makes me feel really happy, and yet a bit sad at the same time. You know, the way you sometimes feel with nostalgia.
Well I hope this edition of the Laidback Gourmet brought back some of those same feelings I got. Thank you for reading and please feel free to email any thoughts, comments, or to lavish thy praise upon me at SuperfriendEd@Gmail.com. I hope you enjoyed this trip down memory lane and next time it’ll be something a bit newer. (Or at least something you can go out and buy.) Until next time, this is Ed DiFolco, your Laidback Gourmet reminding you that TURTLES FIGHT WITH HONOR!!!